and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
