your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
