wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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