Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
