There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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