He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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