Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
