I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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