My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
