Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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