Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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