I hate all girls vehemently.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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