O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
