I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
