I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
