maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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