When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
