i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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