We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
