The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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