Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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