exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
