Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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