You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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