Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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