I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
