Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
