it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
