That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
