just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
