i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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