Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
