Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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