I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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