You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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