She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
