so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
