her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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