I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
