is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
