Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
