i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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