I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
