My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
