i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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