Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
