Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
