is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
