it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
