I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
