The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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