when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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