i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
