Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
