i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize