sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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