Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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