Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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