Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
