I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
