Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
