She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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