guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
