Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
