I'm at about main and main street
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
