so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize