Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
