Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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