Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
