i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
