come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
