did you get engaged???
I want to have your abortion
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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